Alice, Uk

I came to see that my inner world wasn't one of random chaos, but rather a system that had it's own logic, history and rules.

Before Tanya and her wonderful IFS coaching entered my world, I was deep in the weeds of writer’s block. Halfway through studying for a Creative Writing degree, my creative juices should have been firing at all cylinders but - every time I sat down to write - nothing would come. With each failed attempt, my fears and frustrations around the process grew bigger and more overwhelming. What was wrong with me, I found myself asking. Perhaps I’m just not cut out for it?

For someone who had once hoped to make it as a writer, I wondered whether I should be contemplating giving it up altogether.

These, sadly, were not new feelings. Self-doubt and hesitation had always haunted my creative life and I was desperate to find a way of shutting down these seemingly self-made shackles.

I can’t recall where I first heard about IFS therapy, but I do remember the central premise making immediate sense. The idea of each of us having multiple competing, contradictory voices within us resonated far more than the notion of a single, fixed identity ever had. After a quick Google search I found Tanya and, a week later, arrived at my first session with equal parts hope and trepidation.

How can I summarise my experience with Tanya? Over the course of several months of deep, profound, vulnerable and humour-filled sessions, I can honestly say that my relationship with my creativity - as well as with myself, my partner and my loved ones - has transformed.

With each session - which involved carefully diving into and untangling my often messy ‘internal family system’ - I found myself developing a newfound compassion for all my different parts. For the first time, I learnt how to truly listen to the various voices vying for attention in my head. The question slowly shifted from ‘what’s wrong with me?’ to ‘who is trying to help me?’. I came to see that my inner world wasn’t one of random chaos, but rather a system that had its own logic, history and rules. Under Tanya’s careful, tender and patient guidance, I was able to meet the various parts that I had hitherto pushed away or suppressed, and could finally hear what they had to say. In opening these channels of communication, breakthroughs and epiphanies seemed to pour out.

The impact of my sessions with Tanya was, unsurprisingly, far bigger than fixing my writer's block. She gave me a totally new way of understanding not just myself, but also those around me. The ability to slow down and listen to what is really going on inside has left me feeling permanently clearer, lighter, and more free. 

Tanya saw me through one of the most difficult times of my life and helped me believe in myself in a way I’m not sure anyone else has. She is a truly wonderful person and an irreplaceable IFS coach. Her empathy, curiosity, humour, knowledge and warmth created a safe, nurturing space for me to truly see myself, and I will forever be grateful for the work she did with me.