Tanya
Ronder
IFS COACH
Coaching
Coaching
"Therapy is too good to be limited to the sick"
Furedi, Hungarian-Canadian academic
Coaching is distinct from therapy or counselling in that it does not look to unpack the past, but instead strives to see it, acknowledge it, and move beyond it. It is a conversation, a collaboration.
"Coaching is a hybrid expertise that has adapted brilliantly to the complex and competing demands of contemporary society”
Simon Western, Coach & Author
Isn’t coaching about work? About making us more efficient? Athletes have coaches; organizations use coaching to support their employees through challenges and transitions, easing out tangles to perform better.
We may not be an athlete or work for a large organization, and yet work is
a crucial aspect of nearly all of our lives. Ideally, it is also an expression of
who we are.
And personal coaching is about everything – our physical, our professional, our social and home lives, and, crucially, the balance and the spaces in-between. How can we turn up more fully as the protagonist in our own life?
“Perfectionism is the belief that something is broken - you. So you dress up your brokenness with degrees, achievements, accolades, pieces of paper, none of which can fix what you think you are fixing... Change is about noticing what's no longer working and stepping out of the familiar, imprisoning patterns"
Edith Eger, Holocaust Survivor & Author
Coaching is the place to look at your world right now, at where you are, at how you function, at what it is you really want and the ways in which you are interrupted in that. The methodologies of coaching are various, following the client’s preferences and needs. The coach listens for subtext, for the stories the client tells themselves, and for the embedded assumptions beneath their statements. A conversational process, the coach uses gentle and occasionally challenging questioning, aiming to prompt more profound and liberated thinking.
Intuitively I chose Tanya to support me because she 'got' me. Right from the get go, I felt deeply understood and seen. And I never felt 'processed'. Instead, I felt her move and respond to what she was discovering so that our work together felt like a creative dance. She has a wonderful ability to really grasp and then synthesise the complex reality of real life, and offer support that is always appreciative and nourishing. You couldn't have a better person on your side
Paula Downey
Systemic practitioner,
author, speaker
“Tanya is insightful, empathetic, caring, inquisitive and super smart. Her hunger for learning and getting a deeper understanding of subjects is inspiring, she brings great breadth and depth to both coaching and supervision”
Lotti Kierkegaard
IFS
Internal Family Systems is an intuitive technique of engaging with our subconscious terrain, allowing us to meet the opinions and characters that dwell there and which, unbeknown to us, influence our day-to-day thoughts, feelings, responses and behaviours.
Bringing us into conversation with these parts of ourselves begins to release us from outmoded patterns that we have lived with for decades.
“What would it be like if you knew with confidence that your most repulsive or disdainful thoughts or feelings were coming from little parts of yourself rather than being the essence of your identity?... what if you totally trusted that those parts were different from your true Self and that you, as that Self, could help them to transform?”
Richard Schwartz, PhD, founder of IFS
IFS is the fastest-growing evidence-based psychotherapeutic modality in the world. Scientific research keeps emerging with more evidence that using the IFS model can overwrite implicit, trapped and often traumatic memories, meaning that we are able to rewire our neurological pathways, changing our inner architecture on a biological, neurological and cellular level.
Here is a fifteen-minute video on the neuroscience of these changes.
"Tanya’s interest in Internal Family Systems (IFS) combined with her perspective as a writer gives her a compassionate, human approach that helps coaching clients to both explore and better know themselves in a safe environment"
Jonathan Broke
Coach
The Combination of IFS & Coaching
Being listened to in an unconditional and non-judgmental way, and learning to listen to ourselves that way too, can have profound results on our relationship to our core self and with the world around us.
IFS is an efficient and intuitive addition to coaching, helping us to have conversations with parts of ourselves that we have shut away or who are running the show without us necessarily wanting them to.
"I'm thirty-five and remember all that I've done wrong.
Yesterday I was nice, but in truth I resented the contentment of the field".
Ada Limón, Poet Laureate
With increased self-knowledge and growing peace about who we are, we can make more intentional choices for how we actually want to show up for ourselves and others.
Both coaching and IFS, at their heart, hope to make the unconscious conscious, so that we can stop being unwittingly driven by our subliminal patterns.
Where coaching is a conversation, IFS is a more unusual dive into the subconscious, experienced as something along the lines of a guided mediation. It often ends up being, through a gentle and personal journey, incredibly profound work.
“If that clenched jaw could speak”
Gabor Maté
We want different things at different times. Sometimes teasing
or thrashing things out in a conversation is exactly the process
that needs to happen - looking at values or discussing options.
Other times, dropping into our inner landscapes in whichever way
they present themselves, meeting whatever or whoever wants to
be met there, brings us just the understanding we seek.
I love both modalities – coaching with its richly collaborative,
engaging and enlightening plethora of options, and the simple yet audaciously profound technique of IFS. I am delighted to be able to offer both, either singly or together, in a mixture that changes according to need and desire as the sessions evolve between client and coach.
"People say 'I cannot wait to get back to normal'. I am begging that we do not go back. We have to go forward".
Sister Dang Nghiem, Buddhist and Author
"Your warm and compassionate approach creates a space where individuals can explore their inner landscapes with a sense of safety and curiosity. I've witnessed first-hand the genuine care you bring to your work, and it's evident that your clients are in capable and nurturing hands"
Yasir Ali
Psychotherapist
"As a supervisor Tanya operates both as a coach & mentor for my coaching practice, creating space to talk, share and explore, whilst also applying her professional eye and extensive knowledge of psychology to assist with my client work. Tanya’s curiosity and generosity of spirit make her an invaluable working companion, and her insights have helped me to shape my own work, and offer a better service."
Jonathan Broke
Coach
Body, Breath and Creativity
Letting our bodies breath and release its tensions is a major part of how we arrive into ourselves in healthier and more congruent ways.
Huge strides have been made in the field of mental health in the past 20 to 30 years, centralising the role our bodies play in storing traumatic or difficult feelings and responses to events in our lives and, more importantly, to how the events were handled by those around us.
These are some of the key, front-facing players in the field who have evolved our understanding with their clinical work, research, and books - Peter Levine ('Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma’), Bessel van der Kolk (‘The Body Keeps the Score’), Stephen Porges (‘The Polyvagal Theory: the transformative power of feeling safe’), Deb Dana (‘Anchored: how to befriend your nervous system using polyvagal theory’) and Gabor Maté (‘When the body says no’).
Although my work is not directly somatic, my actor’s training and yoga teacher training have given me a strong understanding of the ways in which tension can be stored, and how it travels through us as our burdens lighten.
“I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.”
Maya Angelou